No, I have not given up on this blog, and I remain true to the goals that I hope these posts facilitate. The past few weeks have been hard, harder for others to be sure, but not easy on those of us who narrowly escaped the deluge. Tragically, some of our neighbors did not survive the flood, and I needed to only open my door to witness the worst of it.
The recovery effort has been incredible in this area, but even though we have been drawn to such a powerful initiative, events continue elsewhere in my life with the authority to clobber my spirits. Last night I learned that one of my oldest friends, Jade Shaklee, passed away at his home in Philadelphia.
I visited his sister's Facebook profile a short while ago, and saw pictures of my friend happy with his family and young wife, and I erroneously concluded that his battle with cancer had tipped in his favor despite earlier, dire reports. It's so easy to pretend that compassion for his family's pain have brought on the tears that I've shed today, but that's a selfish deception.
I've been out of touch with Jade for many months. His struggle was no secret, but I guarded myself against the details. He deserved far, far better from me. I'll do with this fresh shame what I should, and be a greater friend to those who remain in my life.
I've reread the above, and I'm aware that it's self-centered, but that is my greatest flaw, and the reason I neglected my friend, so this is truly in the spirit of Imperfiction's theme. I remain, like the back list of my art projects, a work in progress. The difference here is that Jade, and not myself, is the craftsman. Even now- especially now, he refines me, and takes me nearer to being the person I need to be. Great people have a power that is often most potent after they have left us.
Jade's greatness is undeniable.
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Not to freak you out, this is Rochelle.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting take on things, at the end. Although I never would have pegged you for the "selfish" person who knows he's "selfish" (different from the person who doesn't really recognise it...), I've had other friends that feel similar about themselves. The thing that seems to help them the most is, unsurprisingly, having a solid social support system. Friends to keep bolstering them.
I hope you've got a support system like that, and can ride these tough times out. Be strong.
We are all works in progress and some days we shine brighter than others. Your heart and prayers were with Jade. This is a beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteJust FYI, it may take a while for your comments to post. Apparently, there is an ongoing issue with the Comment function on some pages.
ReplyDeleteI could not sleep tonight, so I was prowling through web sites. I saw you were a friend to Ky, so I clicked on your site and found your blog. I am so very, very glad that I did. What a great tribute to Jade. He loved you very much. He always wanted what was best for everyone. He was so brave facing his fight with cancer, and it is his bravery that keeps me fighting on. Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope that this finds you well.
ReplyDeleteLove, Terry